Uncharted

Friends forging a course together through the unexpected

The Maid of Honor Speech January 2, 2013

Filed under: Karla — Uncharted @ 9:20 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Last weekend I had to give one of the most important speeches in my life…the maid of honor speech at my best friend, Jill’s wedding. I started planning for the speech about four months in advance. Can you tell I’m a planner? My concept surrounded around the idea of highlighting some of Jill’s quirks and how her future husband can be prepared for them. I shared the idea with a few mutual friends and they immediately responded with enthusiasm. So, whenever I would think of something I would just jot a note down. About a week before I started finalizing the speech. Major props to Matt for listening to me practice over and over again!

A few days before I picked up everything I would need at Walgreen’s and printed off a final copy of my speech. I was ready to go. Unfortunately I had to follow an amazing speech by one of the groomsmen, but I still did a good job. I can be modest and say so, because many guests came up and complimented my speech. 🙂

I thought I would share the speech with the Uncharted readers. Enjoy!

Hi everyone, I hope you’re enjoying this lovely evening. I’ll only take a few minutes and then we can get back the festivities.

Jaz, with all of the witness here today, I’m officially passing my responsibility of Jill to you. To help with the transition, I thought I’d give you a few tips.

For starters, Jill likes to be entertained. She can manage on her own for a while but would prefer to play with at least one other person. Card and board games work well.

The other thing you’ll need are snacks, especially on long car rides. And remember, when you move here, the U.S. is slightly larger than the U.K. so you might be in the car a lot more than you’re used to. Might as well make sure it’s a pleasant experience for the both of you.

Many of you know, Jill and I were randomly paired roommates our freshman year at Valparaiso. One of my first memories of Jill, was her saying, “look at my finger”. The night before she had sewn a needle through her finger and of course, wanted to show me where the needle had broken through her fingernail. So Jaz, here’s a first aid kit.

Keeping with the health theme. Here are some kleenexes. You’ll need them indefinitely in winter, spring, summer and well, fall.

Speaking of summer. Here’s some sunscreen. SPF 50 because Jill burns when it’s cloudy out. We both know if you don’t make her use it or apply it yourself, I’ll find out. And when you forget or do a bad job, here’s the aloe.

Another thing you’ll need are shout wipes. If chocolate is within a ten foot radius of Jill, you can guarantee she’ll eat it and probably manage somehow to get it on herself. It’s best that you don’t ask how and just give her the shout wipe.

The other item you need to pack is a bottle of water. Jill is a camel and I mean that only when it comes to water because she drinks lots of it. Especially at restaurants. Be ready for her to steal your water. I’m actually looking forward to our first double date because she’ll take your water now instead of mine.

Last but not least, carry a jokes with you. Jill loves to laugh at the most ridiculous things. I found that Laffy taffy jokes are perfect for that.

With these tips, take good care of my Jilly. Again if you don’t, we all know Jill will tell me (just like the sunscreen). But, in all seriousness, after getting to know you and seeing how you don’t let her take an inch, I know I’m passing her off to the right man.  

Jill and Jaz, your adventures together have only just begun. Here’s to your future. May it be filled with endless joy and tons of happiness.

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